Many couples want to say more than just "I do" at their wedding ceremony. A great way to give this magical moment more expression is to say your wedding vows. Marriage vows have been a firm tradition in many cultures and religions for centuries. Long forgotten, the vow of fidelity is currently gaining a new significance.
Have you also decided to write your wedding vows? In the following article, we'll tell you what marriage vows are all about, why it's worth taking vows and the best way to get started.
What is a wedding vow?
A wedding vow is basically a solemn and formulated promise to your partner. You make this to each other during the wedding ceremony. The personal declaration of your love and commitment should express that you are there for each other in good times and bad, and confirm that you are making a conscious decision to marry. A wedding vow is often about shaping your future together, the values you share and supporting each other in different phases of life.
Marriage vows are by no means an invention of modern times. From a historical perspective, marriage vows are an important part of the wedding ceremony. Even among the Germanic tribes, the so-called "Muntehe", a widespread form of marriage in the early Middle Ages, included a formalized speech. The tradition of promising lifelong fidelity to one's partner is also deeply rooted in the Christian wedding ceremony and dates back to the 16th century.
Why should you write a wedding vow?
Writing wedding vows is a good choice for all those couples who want to express their connection to each other in words. This creates a very emotional moment during the ceremony that will touch you and your guests in a special way.
You can also make your wedding unforgettable with a personalized wedding vow. They put the spotlight on your shared history, highlighting what makes your relationship so unique.
When couples write their wedding vows, most of them realize the significance of their love once again. They can reminisce, enjoy the present and imagine their future. With a wedding vow, you show that you know what commitments you are making, but also what you expect from your partner.
Ultimately, a wedding vow is a precious memory that will stay with you forever. Keep your written words safe afterwards and read them to yourself again on various occasions such as your wedding day.
What is important in marriage vows?
It is important that you first clarify with the registrar or priest whether and how you can incorporate a personal vow into the ceremony. Clarify the possible length of the vows and the appropriate time within the wedding ceremony.
In contrast to the wedding speech, the vows should be short and express precisely what is important to you. Although the vows are an emotional highlight for everyone present, they are primarily addressed to your partner. Always keep this in mind when writing your vows.
Take these points into account when writing your wedding vows:
- Use your own words to express your honest feelings and thoughts.
- Your style should reflect your personality and that of your partner. This can be humorous, creative, serious or poetic.
- Emphasize what you appreciate about your partner and why you have decided to live together.
- Include specific promises that outline how you want to organize everyday life together.
- Your vows should also outline your vision for the future together and shared dreams.
- Show the depth of your emotions in your vows. This gives the ceremony a touching and unforgettable character.
- Make sure you formulate your thoughts clearly and concisely.
After you have written your wedding vows, put them aside and get back to your everyday life. After a few days, take it out again and read it through at your leisure. Once you are satisfied, you can start rehearsing it. Do this by reciting it out loud. This will ensure that you can deliver it fluently and with the right emotional emphasis on the big day and reduce your nervousness.
How long the wedding vows should be
At a wedding ceremony, whether in church or at the registry office, the time is limited. Each vow usually lasts about one minute, which leaves room for a maximum of 150 words. After all, there are a few more items on the program, such as putting on your gold wedding rings, modern wedding rings or dreamy memoir rings.
When are the marriage vows recited?
In traditional church ceremonies, you usually say your vows after saying "I do" and immediately before exchanging rings. The priest or pastor who plans the ceremony in advance will ask you to recite your vows.
With free weddings, you often have more flexibility in the design of the ceremony, including the timing of your vows. Some couples like to say their vows right at the beginning to express their shared wishes and hopes for the marriage. Others prefer to recite their vows towards the end or before the wedding rings are given.
What to write about in a wedding vow? Including examples
All beginnings are difficult. It may be that you want to write your wedding vows but can't think of anything at all. Don't worry, many people feel this way. After all, it's not every day that you express your feelings in writing in a wedding vow. Let yourself be inspired by our ideas below and add your own personal touch.
Gratitude:
Express how grateful you are to have your partner by your side:
"I am so grateful to be able to wake up next to you every day and know that we can achieve anything together."
Special memories
Mention significant moments in your relationship that influenced your decision to spend the rest of your lives together:
"I'll never forget the day we danced in the rain on our first vacation together. I knew at that moment that I wanted to spend my life with you."
Future promises
What do you want to promise your partner for your future together?
"I promise to always be there for you in good times and bad, to support your dreams and to forge new ones together."
Properties of the partner
What do you admire about your partner? Which of his or her qualities do you particularly appreciate?
"I admire your unwavering patience and your incredible sense of humor, which makes me laugh every day."
Common goals
Do you have common goals that you would like to achieve?
"I look forward to starting a family with you, traveling the world and celebrating the gift of our love every day."
When writing your wedding vows, it can also be helpful to ask yourself some questions:
- What do I value most about my partner?
- How has my partner changed my life for the better?
- What challenges have we overcome together?
- Where do I see us in five, ten or twenty years?
- What qualities of our life together do I particularly value?
- What does marriage mean to me personally and what do I want to promise my partner?
Tip: Emphasize your wedding vows with an individually designed wedding ring. This way, your wedding vows will remain present in your everyday life.
